Week 10 Story: The Hickory Lane Terror
This story has been added to my portfolio project. Read the most up to date version here.
Josh was walking home from school with his older brother Jacob on a beautiful, breezy spring day. It was one of those perfect days. The sun was shining, the temperature was lovely, and Josh was starting to feel excited for his tenth birthday which, as of today, was exactly one month away.
The brothers turned the corner onto Hickory Lane and walked one block. At the intersection of Hickory Lane and 4th Avenue they crossed the street to walk on the north side of the road to 6th Avenue. All the children in their small town walked on the north side and never on the south side of Hickory between 4th and 6th Avenues to avoid The Hickory Lane Terror.
On the corner of Hickory and 5th there was an old dilapidated house. The decades old white paint that hadn't already peeled off was gray with age and the windows were so dusty someone on the street could barely tell if any lights were on at all. There was a tall chainlink fence all the way around the over grown lawn, and every day, leering out at the street from his post in the middle of the yard was The Terror.
The Terror was a grizzled and gray old mutt of a dog that spent his time outside everyday barking and growling and gnashing his teeth at anyone that walked in front of his house, and the children of the town were so scared that one day he would break through the fence that they all avoided the house. Luckily The Terror did not care, or was too old to see, what happened just across the street, so the children always make sure to walk along the north side of Hickory Lane.
As the brothers walked down the sidewalk, safely out of range of inciting a fit from The Terror, Josh was so overflowing with anticipation about his birthday that he started to whistle a bouncy little song. Apparently the old mutt could still hear fine and launched into a frenzied series of barks, growls, and howls throwing himself against the fence. The boys were terrified and ran as fast as they could to a safe distance. Josh, however, did not lose his good mood.
"You know what, Jacob?" he said to his brother.
"What?" Jacob replied through shaky gasps.
"I bet I could get that grouchy old mutt to like me."
"Ya right! He'd tear you to pieces."
"No really I bet you that by my birthday I can get The Terror to let me rub his belly."
"Alright you're on!"
The boys stayed on the north sidewalk until 10th Avenue before they crossed the street again today.
The next day on his way home from school Josh started his quest. Directly across the street from The Terror (and with Jacob safely watching from a few blocks away) Josh started to whistle. The Terror immediately launched into a rage, but after flinching initially Josh steadied himself and started to calmly talk to the raging dog across the street. After a few minutes The Terror relaxed a little bit too. That is he stopped howling and instead just growled with occasionally snarled. Josh decided that was a enough for the first day and ran ahead to catch up with his brother, feeling accomplished.
Josh stopped across the street from The Terror every day on his way home from school and talked to the dog. On the tenth day Josh whistled his greeting, and The Terror slowly walked to fence growling but did not fly into his usual frenzied rage. Josh realized he was making progress.
From that day on Josh started inching closer, each day he visited The Terror, and The Terror became less and less terrifying and more and more friendly.
On Josh's tenth birthday, The Terror had still only let him scratch his ears a little through the fence, but Josh was determined to successfully complete his quest. He brought a secret weapon this time, a carrot dipped in peanut butter. Josh whistled his musical greeting, and The Terror happily bounded (at least as much as a dog of his age can bound) over to the fence. Josh started talking in his usual calm tone and scratched the pup's ears; then he got out the carrot and pushed it through the fence onto the ground.
The Terror cautiously sniffed the surprise and quickly decided it was safe diving excitedly into his treat. After eating the whole carrot the satisfied Terror rolled over next to the fence showing his belly to an ecstatic Josh.
From a safe distance, Jacob watched in disbelief as his brother rubbed the belly of the nastiest, meanest dog he could imagine, but even more surprising was that Jacob started inching closer to where his brother and The Terror were himself. When he got close enough The Terror rolled back over and looked directly at Jacob but did not even growl. Josh took this as a queue to introduce them. After the introduction, Jacob cautiously scratched The Terror's ears, and The Terror cautiously enjoyed it.
News of Josh's victory circulated quickly, and day by day, one at a time Josh introduced each of the other children to his new friend. Now, all the children in the town walk on the south side of Hickory lane so they can say, "Hi" to The Terror and scratch his ears.
Author's Note:
I based this story off of "Krishna rides Hastin" by Epified. In that telling of the story Krishna tames the vicious bull, Hastin, by showing him kindness over the course of a month. Every night Krishna visits Hastin. During the visits he plays his flute and feeds the bull sweet treats, and every night he is able to get a little closer to the bull. Finally, after one month, on the night of the full moon, Krishna is able to ride Hastin showing the other people of the village the power of kindness.
I chose to tell this story in a modern American small town where the main character was trying to rub a mean old dog's belly instead of ride a vicious bull.
Bibliography.
Krishna rides Hastin from Krishna by Epified. Source
Josh was walking home from school with his older brother Jacob on a beautiful, breezy spring day. It was one of those perfect days. The sun was shining, the temperature was lovely, and Josh was starting to feel excited for his tenth birthday which, as of today, was exactly one month away.
The brothers turned the corner onto Hickory Lane and walked one block. At the intersection of Hickory Lane and 4th Avenue they crossed the street to walk on the north side of the road to 6th Avenue. All the children in their small town walked on the north side and never on the south side of Hickory between 4th and 6th Avenues to avoid The Hickory Lane Terror.
Image Source: pxhear
On the corner of Hickory and 5th there was an old dilapidated house. The decades old white paint that hadn't already peeled off was gray with age and the windows were so dusty someone on the street could barely tell if any lights were on at all. There was a tall chainlink fence all the way around the over grown lawn, and every day, leering out at the street from his post in the middle of the yard was The Terror.
The Terror was a grizzled and gray old mutt of a dog that spent his time outside everyday barking and growling and gnashing his teeth at anyone that walked in front of his house, and the children of the town were so scared that one day he would break through the fence that they all avoided the house. Luckily The Terror did not care, or was too old to see, what happened just across the street, so the children always make sure to walk along the north side of Hickory Lane.
As the brothers walked down the sidewalk, safely out of range of inciting a fit from The Terror, Josh was so overflowing with anticipation about his birthday that he started to whistle a bouncy little song. Apparently the old mutt could still hear fine and launched into a frenzied series of barks, growls, and howls throwing himself against the fence. The boys were terrified and ran as fast as they could to a safe distance. Josh, however, did not lose his good mood.
"You know what, Jacob?" he said to his brother.
"What?" Jacob replied through shaky gasps.
"I bet I could get that grouchy old mutt to like me."
"Ya right! He'd tear you to pieces."
"No really I bet you that by my birthday I can get The Terror to let me rub his belly."
"Alright you're on!"
The boys stayed on the north sidewalk until 10th Avenue before they crossed the street again today.
The next day on his way home from school Josh started his quest. Directly across the street from The Terror (and with Jacob safely watching from a few blocks away) Josh started to whistle. The Terror immediately launched into a rage, but after flinching initially Josh steadied himself and started to calmly talk to the raging dog across the street. After a few minutes The Terror relaxed a little bit too. That is he stopped howling and instead just growled with occasionally snarled. Josh decided that was a enough for the first day and ran ahead to catch up with his brother, feeling accomplished.
Josh stopped across the street from The Terror every day on his way home from school and talked to the dog. On the tenth day Josh whistled his greeting, and The Terror slowly walked to fence growling but did not fly into his usual frenzied rage. Josh realized he was making progress.
From that day on Josh started inching closer, each day he visited The Terror, and The Terror became less and less terrifying and more and more friendly.
On Josh's tenth birthday, The Terror had still only let him scratch his ears a little through the fence, but Josh was determined to successfully complete his quest. He brought a secret weapon this time, a carrot dipped in peanut butter. Josh whistled his musical greeting, and The Terror happily bounded (at least as much as a dog of his age can bound) over to the fence. Josh started talking in his usual calm tone and scratched the pup's ears; then he got out the carrot and pushed it through the fence onto the ground.
The Terror cautiously sniffed the surprise and quickly decided it was safe diving excitedly into his treat. After eating the whole carrot the satisfied Terror rolled over next to the fence showing his belly to an ecstatic Josh.
From a safe distance, Jacob watched in disbelief as his brother rubbed the belly of the nastiest, meanest dog he could imagine, but even more surprising was that Jacob started inching closer to where his brother and The Terror were himself. When he got close enough The Terror rolled back over and looked directly at Jacob but did not even growl. Josh took this as a queue to introduce them. After the introduction, Jacob cautiously scratched The Terror's ears, and The Terror cautiously enjoyed it.
News of Josh's victory circulated quickly, and day by day, one at a time Josh introduced each of the other children to his new friend. Now, all the children in the town walk on the south side of Hickory lane so they can say, "Hi" to The Terror and scratch his ears.
Author's Note:
I based this story off of "Krishna rides Hastin" by Epified. In that telling of the story Krishna tames the vicious bull, Hastin, by showing him kindness over the course of a month. Every night Krishna visits Hastin. During the visits he plays his flute and feeds the bull sweet treats, and every night he is able to get a little closer to the bull. Finally, after one month, on the night of the full moon, Krishna is able to ride Hastin showing the other people of the village the power of kindness.
I chose to tell this story in a modern American small town where the main character was trying to rub a mean old dog's belly instead of ride a vicious bull.
Bibliography.
Krishna rides Hastin from Krishna by Epified. Source
Hey again Ryan,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story and your dialogue. I thought the scheme of your page made it easy to navigate and easy to read. The image used worked well with your story. I thought your dialogue/paragraph spacing made the read simple and I did not feel like anything was too long and could be broken up. Grammar and punctuation is not my strong suit so I can't even comment on if you did good there or if you messed up, but while reading it it did not seem like there were any issues. Well done.
Hey Ryan, I just got done reading your story here. I really enjoyed how well it read and the detail that was in it. The dialogue was very nice as well. Your image helped the reader and gave some more detail to the story that aided to it as a whole. I think that this was one of my favorite stories that I have read. Great job and good luck on this last quarter of school!
ReplyDeleteHello again, Ryan. I enjoyed your take on the original story - your version was modern yet still had the same message as when Krishna rode Hastin the bull. The story was descriptive and I could paint a picture in my head as I was reading, which I believe is an important quality for stories to have. The one thing that stood out in your story was your dialogue and how you placed each character's dialogue on its own line. I think that was a smart move that made it clear to the audience it was someone's dialogue without having to say, "he said...." or "she said..." before or after each line. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteHello again Ryan. I really like how you retold this story. And I think that most people have had an experience with an animal that they had to earn its trust before being able to pet it. Dialogue can sometimes be tricky in these stories, but you did a great job by creating a natural flow to the dialogue that made the story very easy to read.
ReplyDeleteHi Ryan! Wow! I really enjoyed this story. I like how you changed the setting to more relatable and more modern. I think it is really cool how Josh decided to tame the dog. I bet the dog was forever grateful when he learned humans we not that bad. I also really enjoyed the dialogue and detail to this story. Overall, great job and I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteRyan, I did not read the Krishna tales for my reading the past two weeks so I was not familiar with the original story you had based yours off of but your author’s notes helped fill in the information. I really enjoyed the story because I have two dogs. One is a rescue boxer and tends to frighten people at first look but with a little kindness, or in his case just calling to him a gentle tone, can help dogs feel less frighten. I know it was not your original idea but I love the ending message of showing kindness. Great story, I hope I get a chance to come back and read more of your stories.
Hey, Ryan! This is such a sweet story. I saw the dog picture and knew that I had to read it and I am so glad I did. It was a cute story and your addition of dialogue was a great way to bring the reader into the story. I am so glad that the Terror has so many new friends and that the children were all safe.
ReplyDelete