Story Week 3: Lakshmana the Observer
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| Rama breaking the bow to win Sita as his wife |
Wow! Is there no feat my good and virtuous brother cannot complete? He not only drew the sacred bow that many noble men have failed to budge but snapped the mighty weapon clean in two.
We are both the sons of the great Maharajah Dasharatha, yet the mighty Rama is the only son for whom the poets write verse after verse. When I am gone will I be remembered less than the shadow cast by my beloved brother?
Ah who's this entering the hall? A hermit? I guess my dear brother enticed another admirer to join the praise. But wait. This strange man is no admirer! His eyes are full of rage and fixed intently on ... Rama.
Why would this man care that Rama broke Shiva's ancient bow, and how could that cause him to stare at Rama with such murderous eyes?
I see now; the man has the marks of a worshipper of Shiva. He may worship Shiva but it is still nothing but an old bow.
This man is going to try to kill Rama! I may not be the mighty, valiant warrior the poets praise, but I can protect my brother and my honor from this wild and enraged sage. It may cost me my life, but at least brave Rama will live. The great poets may even write a verse of how the bold Lakshmana courageously gave his life to protect the great Rama.
Huh? What is this hand upon my chest? Rama is stopping me, but what can be done now? He isn't even attempting to fight, but with a lowered voice and benign demeanor he has quelled the sage's anger.
What a wise brother I have to know when bloodshed is not necessary. The sage can be calmed with a test for my brother; he must draw the bow of Vishnu.
But of course this is hardly a feat for the greatly beloved Rama. It is no surprise he can accomplish it with ease.
And now as the devoted sage bows before him, my great brother, Rama, has enticed another admirer.
Author's note:
This week I chose to retell the encounter between Parashurama and Rama by imagining Lakshmana's internal dialogue. In this episode, Rama has just broken Shiva's bow and thus won King Janaka's blessing for him to marry Sita. Parashurama a hermit and worshipper of Shiva barges into the hall and demands to know who broke his god's bow. Lakshmana chastises Parashurama for caring about an old bow which sets the two men on the verge of a bloody brawl. Then Rama steps in and calms Parashurama who suggests a test to see if Rama truly is a hero. Rama passes the test by drawing the bow of Vishnu and at this Parashurama acknowledges Rama with the words "Glory to the mighty Rama!"
Bibliography. "Parashurama" from The Devine Archer by F.J. Gould. Web source.
Image. By Raja Ravi Varma, Public Domain, from WikimediaCommons
I like how you started your story! I also like how you told the story in Lakshmana's perspective. It gives insight through a different set of eyes. I wonder, when you say that Rama enticed another admirer, do you mean Lakshmana or the worshipper of Shiva? I noticed there was some jealousy in Lakshmana's dialogue when he mentioned that he might be remembered as a shadow cast beside his brother. In this dialogue, I like how wise you portrayed Rama and how he exemplifies a good leader! Great story! I loved reading it.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your take on this story from the perspective of Lakshmana. I think it would be interesting to delve more into how Lakshmana feels like a lesser being compared to Rama. I liked how even though Lakshmana may be jealous of his brother's abilities, he still cares enoug about him to try toprotect Rama.This really depicts Lakshmana as a bold and courageous character. I also liked the level of description you applied to each character during the story.
ReplyDeleteThis beginning of the story was really entertaining. I like how the paragraphs were broken up because it made it easier to read. The story was well written and easy to understand. You explained it much better than the reading. I like how you wrote the story in Lakshmana's perspective. There isn't much told about him and his thoughts so it was interesting to read about what he might be thinking. You also made Rama seem more wiser and less aggressive compared to the story. The whole time I've read the actual story, I've felt like Rama was kind of egotistical and short-tempered but reading your story makes Rama seem like the opposite.
ReplyDeleteThis is Awesome Ryan! I love the stories of internal dialogue that goes on in character’s minds in the story. Sually when I read a book, I always wonder what each character is feeling when a big event happens and your story of Lakshmana is awesome and very creative! Thanks once again for sharing this and I am excited to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi again! Wow! This story did no disappoint. I love this story. I like how we know what is going on in the character's mind and he is telling. We know exactly how he felt. It has been a while since I read this original story, but I really liked the change of perspective and we can get an idea about how at least one person honestly felt when Rama broke the bow. Once again, great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Ryan! I love stories told internally through characters that we usually don't get to hear the thoughts of. Lakshmana is such a good character and loyal friend and brother to Rama. I like how you wrote it from the inner perspective of him. In his eyes, Rama can do no wrong! He's a loyal follower and would do anything to protect his brother and leader. I really liked this story!
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